


How do I Know if You're Feeling the Same as Me?

by chooseredemption



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Music, F/F, Graphic Designer Clarke, Musician Lexa, Oh man I get feels thinking about what I have to attempt to write for this
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-09-25
Updated: 2016-11-12
Packaged: 2018-08-17 08:23:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 10,547
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8137153
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/chooseredemption/pseuds/chooseredemption
Summary: Clarke Griffin is fresh out of art school and has fallen headfirst into a project.  Designing the art for the new Lexa album will either set her career off, or destroy it before it's ever gotten the chance to start.





	1. I

"Lexa music"

Clarke hits enter to run the search.  About an hour ago the thought hadn't crossed her mind to look the girl up at all.  One phone call with her mother however and suddenly she felt completely unprepared.

_"Oh you're working with a musician?  What kind of music does she play?  What do you mean you're not sure?  Did you not get any information before accepting the job?  Clarke, you should know better than this.  No, it's not too late.  When is your meeting with the manager?  Hmm probably best to look some things up.  They probably expect you know about her Clarke."_

So here she was stalking a celebrity online.  She thought originally that it was best to try meet Lexa in person to get a sense of the girl, and ask her a few questions.  Not to be influenced by the previous work done for the artist.  That it would lead to a more successful project.  Her mom was quick to tarnish the idea though.

_"She's a celebrity about to release a new album Clarke.  She won't have time, or want to sit down and chat.  I guarantee you’ll only be dealing with her management team."_

Clarke was familiar with a few of her songs.  They were quite popular in the clubs she frequented during her college years, and were always included in Raven’s pre drinking playlist.  Her mom was right though.  Hearing a song or two on a night out did not mean she knew what she was signing up for by taking the job.

Not to mention she loves every song when she's drunk.  She could have been listening to another artist completely and not know the difference.

Wikipedia appears at the top of the list but Clarke just reads the excerpt provided at the side of the search to fill her in.

The girl in the photo was cute.  Well maybe not cute, she had what looked like resting bitch face, but she was good looking that was for sure.  Lexa wasn't much older than her, not much taller, and had a total of four albums released.

Four albums.

Clarke's eyes flicker back up to read her age again.

_Lexa Woods.  Born and raised in DC.  23 years old._

She was just older than Clarke.  It was impressive and Clarke felt a lot less accomplished for it.  Though from the email she got it shouldn't have been so surprising.

_"My client is very dedicated to her work.  She demands the best of herself and those who work with her."_

Clarke was starting to question her qualifications.  She was recently graduated from graphic design and eager to get a project like this.  Then again she had never done a project like this before.  Designing an album cover and for an internationally known artist on top of that meant she had jumped in the deep end.  She knew it was going to be demanding, but this girl sounded like she was a proper hard-ass.  She'd probably fire Clarke on sight if she saw her work routine.

Clarke shook her head, it wasn’t the Griffin way to back down.  She could handle it.  And Lexa would have to deal with having a graphic designer more likely to have ink on her face then make up for meetings.

She returned to her search and tried Twitter next.  It contained nothing but marketing tweets.  Clarke hoped Lexa wasn't running the account.  Being serious about work was one thing, having your social media be not social was another.  There was such a thing as too much dedication to building your career.

Clarke could understand dedication.  She was able to get lost for days in college work, just trying to get that one detail right, but she also tried to take breaks from it too.  Forcing herself to make coffee at the very least.  Sometimes even walking to the coffee place around the corner if her hadn't left the apartment for a few days.

Moving on from that failed attempt to get to know the artist through non-social media, she went to YouTube and started watching some of her music videos.  The songs were catchy and vaguely familiar to her.  She found herself nodding along to one or two as she watched.

There were no reoccurring themes between music videos though.  Each were drastically different- new faces, new styles in each.  Again the lack of the artist behind it all was felt as she watched them.  Clarke was beginning to wonder if the woman existed at all.  Or perhaps she was just a robot.  Maybe an AI, who could only sing and Tweet about her albums.

She changed tabs back to the search, while the song on YouTube kept playing, and added live to her search.  Clicking on the images tab, her screen filled with live performances, phone screens flashing in the audiences, and a woman quite different to the artist headshot the search had given her.

Her hair was wild.  In a lot of the photos it was braided, as if attempting to tame it.  Sometimes she was at an instrument of some kind.  She looked focused, in charge and very much the centre of everything.

One photo in particular caught Clarke's eye.  Lexa held the microphone out to the crowd, her ear piece dangling down.  A bead of sweat was trailing down from her temple and her free hand was pushing her hair from her eyes.  It was the first picture of the singer she had seen with the woman smiling.

Clarke couldn’t help but smile herself.  At last proof Lexa might be an actual person.  Not to mention if Clarke thought she as good looking previously, she looked simply gorgeous now.

The song on YouTube had ended, so Clarke switched to Spotify to continue listening.  The music videos were providing her with no insight anyway.  She looked though photos of the live performances a bit longer, before finally switching to researching lyrics.

She glanced at what song was currently playing and typed it into the search bar.

She followed the lyrics for a couple of songs, making notes of any strong themes or recurring imagery.  She tried to do something similar with the past album covers next.  Still no connections between them could be found, let alone connections to the albums they were from.

Clarke beginning to grow tired of taking notes, moved to watching some live performances.  A lot of the videos she found were fan filmed, but even through the shaky camera work it was clear that Lexa dominated the stage.  Her voice seemed to sound different live.  It sounded more raw, passionate even.  That might have been the video quality, but Clarke liked to think it was the other reason.

Looking at the time she realised it was a lot later than she thought.  She switched back over to her email, reading again the message from Titus, Lexa's manager.  He had approached her in the first place about the opportunity.  It was the opening of the college end of year show her work was displaying at.  He asked her if she was interested in designing some album art and they had exchanged details.

She wrote up a response, then proof read it for anything that would make her sound inexperienced, before hitting send.  It was pretty brief, simply stating she was excited to work on the project, answering some questions and, inquiring if she could meet with Lexa, so she could get a better sense of the woman.

Her mom would scold her for that part of the email.  She didn't care though.  It was late and Clarke was tired.  She knew there was definitely something more to be learned about this girl and there was no way she was going to find it stalking her online.

She hoped it didn't sound too much like she was crazy fan girl.  Then again she had first met Titus at the end of college show, and looked at him stupidly when he mentioned the artist he represented, so she felt she was safe there.

She closed the laptop down as it dinged to indicate the message was sent.  She stood up to go to bed, her legs aching from sitting in the one position so long.

But hey at least Lexa should appreciate the dedication she was putting in.

 

* * *

 

The worst part about staying up late is when the alarm sounds the following morning, coming next in that list was the second time it rang.  It was maybe after the sixth time she snoozed it did Clarke actually decide to get up.  It wasn't like she had any major plans today so sleeping in wasn't the worst thing she could be doing.

She opened up her laptop on route to the bathroom.  A habit she had picked up during college, to try get any class cancellation emails before arriving to an empty room.  She figured it was one of the better habits from college to keep.

By the time she got back to the laptop she had a new message.  Titus was quick at replying it seemed.  It was something that Clarke would have to keep in mind for the future.  He probably didn’t like waiting for replies.

She skimmed over the email, but had to read it again to make sure she wasn’t making up what she thought she read.

Lexa wanted to meet with her.  She could have 5 mins before they took lunch to speak with the artist. 

Clarke really hadn’t expected this.  Then again she hadn’t really thought about what she was expecting.  She barely remembered writing the email last night in her tired state.

Glancing at the time and location given and then to the current time, Clarke cursed.  She'd have to get ready fast, and maybe even call an Uber to be on the safe side.

She pulled open her wardrobe to find all her clothes seemed like they no longer fit.  Clarke started pulling different pieces out here and there, trying to get something to match, but also something that would make her look like a professional.  By the time she dressed and appraised herself in the mirror, she felt she looked like a lawyer.  There was no time to change however.  She grabbed her sketchbook, some pens and her keys as she called in for a ride share and prayed there was one close by.

Her ride showed up early, and they hit little traffic.  It was a good thing, but it also meant that maybe she could have taken an extra five minutes to do something better with her hair then the bun on the ride over.

She was dropped off at a building she wouldn't consider to be any sort of recording studio.  Then again maybe that was intentional for artists to record in private.  It's not like she knew anything much about the whole music making business.  Something her mother had reminded her a few times the night before.

Looking over the building she felt completely overdressed.  It looked drab.  There was a square like shape of fresh paint clearly there to cover graffiti by the door, and the rest of the paint job just looked dirty.  She probably would have been better off wearing sweatpants looking at the building.

She approached the door with a sigh, hitting the buzzer.  She then waited as the crackling voice confirmed she was expected, and eventually let her in.

She was surprised that the place was so much nicer on the inside.  It was clean, uncluttered and the opposite of its dank exterior.  It made her feel a small bit better about her over the top business attire.  Only a little though. 

Not many people were around.  It made the place quiet.  The guard on duty seemed mostly disinterested in everything but his magazine.  He did occasionally glance at the monitor.  It was good to know he was doing something for his paycheck.

He did eventually look up when she cleared her throat.  He asked her to sign in and then was pointed towards a door off to the side. 

As she went through the door that lead to a small corridor, she could start to hear a faint beat sounding through the walls.  At least she wouldn't need further directions of where to go.

Knocking on the door the sound could be heard loudest, of course resulted in no response.  Clarke wasn't sure she could just walk in.  After a few minutes standing outside though, she came to the conclusion she was expected and had already knocked.  So she took in a breath and went inside.

She found herself in a small studio, a group standing huddled around a console, behind a window in another room was Lexa, headphones on, playing a piano.

Clarke could hear more than the piano though.  Lexa was playing along to a backing track.  The track was sweet sounding, and the piano was perfectly in time with it.  It was quite different to what Clarke had listened to the night before.  It almost felt like it had deeper meaning.  Then again that might have been connected to actually watching Lexa play.

Each note she played sounded purposeful.  Clarke couldn’t say she knew much about music but she knew this is what talent sounded like.  Lexa looked in her element, fingers dancing across the keys.  Her hair was tied back neatly, her shoulders were relaxed, and though she was sitting upright, she seemed to move her whole body into playing each note.

The expression on her face had Clarke transfixed.  She could see focus and determination, but also a calm.  She looked beautiful.

Clarke knew she could watch her play all day.

It wasn’t to be though.  The music stopped and Clarke found herself looking Lexa watching her.  The others at the console looked up first at Lexa, when they realized she had stopped and then followed her gaze over to Clarke.

The music was switched off completely then.  Silence lingered for a moment.

"Clarke I assume?"

To say her face turned red, was an understatement.  She could feel her cheeks burn from embarrassment, and Lexa’s gaze.

She reached her hand out to the bald man who seemed to know who she was.

"Hi, yes.  Titus?"

He nodded and gestured towards the door she just entered through, ignoring her outstretched hand.

"I'll show you to the meeting room."

Clarke felt like an idiot.  She must have completely ruined the recording.  She suddenly was questioning why she thought it was a good idea to just march into the room.

Titus pressed a button on the console as Clarke started to walk out the door again.

"Lexa, the graphic designer is here.  Join us in the meeting room when you finish up."

Clarke couldn’t quite hear the artist’s reply, but the tone didn’t sound welcoming.  She felt awkward.  The woman was about to take her lunch break, when Clarke burst in.  She probably had to start over.

Titus sighed as he joined Clarke outside and gestured to one of the doors Clarke walked by earlier.

Entering it, the room looked more like a lounge than meeting room.  There were couches and a coffee table, even a few instruments in the corner.  There were also papers lying around, but Clarke's attention didn't last long on them as Titus began to speak, gesturing for her to sit down.

"I've some documents I need you to sign.  Employment contracts and NDR’s."

Clarke looked up confused as she took the seat he had gestured to.

“NDR?”

"Non-disclosure agreement," he said, raising an eyebrow as if she should have known.

"Oh yeah sure."

The way Titus surveyed her as he passed her the documents and a pen made her feel more of a fool.  If she kept it up at this rate, the job offer would probably be retracted.  She tried not to smirk as she skimmed over the documents, thinking she better sign them fast before they could actually take back the offer.

As she finished signing the door clicked open again and her eyes fell instantly on the woman walking in.  It was hard to move her gaze away once it landed.  No longer hiding behind a piano Clarke could compare Lexa to the photos she had seen online properly.  Lexa was about the same height as her, maybe a little taller.  The clothes she wore were casual and comfortable looking, but they hung just right on her body.  Clarke fidgeted with her notebook.  The photos online had not been photoshopped.

"So you're the one designing my new album cover?"

Her voice was smooth, calm and seemed to only draw Clarke in.  It was no surprise Lexa received high praise for her vocal performances.

She could only nod in response- unable to comprehend that this was the same woman she had been internet stalking the night before.  She seemed so different.  In the photos online she was focused.  Here though she looked so relaxed.  Hell she was even wearing sweatpants- something that didn't help ease Clarke's early worries about her own lawyer look.

The woman settled in small couch in the corner of the room and crossed her legs, looking expectantly at Clarke.

"Titus said you wanted to meet?  Was there anything in particular you wanted to talk about?"

Clarke started to speak but stopped herself when only a small noise came out.  Lexa raised an eyebrow.  Titus frowned.  She hadn’t really gotten a chance to prepare what she wanted to say.  She should have come up with some kind of question plan during the ride over.

She quickly recomposed herself.  She had to be professional.  This job had to go well for her.  The thought back to the night before and some of the things that she had noticed.

"I just wanted to ask a couple of questions.  Like the art has been so different for each of your albums.  There doesn't even seem to be a common theme across them.  Is there anything you'd like to see?  Maybe to tie into what you’re working on?"

Lexa's eyes seemed to light up a little at the questions.  Clarke had found her eyes amazing before, but she hadn't thought they could be this captivating.  She had to look away to actually be able to focus on Lexa's answer.

"I don't know to be honest.  I’m not normally involved in the design process for the album art.  This album is quite different to the other ones though.  I can't even say I know what the album is about yet, but I think-"

Titus cleared his throat behind Clarke, clearly indicating she shouldn’t continue to answer.  Lexa's jaw seemed to jut out to the side at the interruption, though she said nothing.

"When is it coming out again?"  Clarke tried not to let the silence linger.  She felt she had actually read the answer the night before, but the information hadn't really stuck.

Something flashed across Lexa's eyes as Clarke asked, but Titus cut in before she could even begin to try read it.

"That information is not required by you to complete the project."

Clarke was able to think of a few different reasons why it could be beneficial for her to know- like her deadline.  She let it slide though.

"Oh sorry.  Uh could you give me an idea of some of the themes you're using?  I noticed in your other songs there's a lot of nostalgia, and longing."

Lexa smiled at this.  Not like the posed photos she had seen before.  This was a small smile, but it felt far more genuine.

"Sure.  What I'm looking at is-"

"Stop."

They both turned to look at Titus, who moved closer to Clarke.  It was almost as if he was trying to intimidate her.  Clarke glanced at Lexa, who looked like she wanted to protest.

"My client isn't not allowed to discuss details like that.  This album can't risk any leaks."

"I wouldn't-"

"We just can't risk you walking out of here and selling any information to the media."

Lexa looked annoyed.  Her jaw jutted to the side again before clenching.  Clarke was starting to get irritated with Titus' interruptions, but Lexa seemed to be on another level.  There had to be more going on between the two.  Clarke decided it was best to not mention she had signed the non-disclosure agreement in case it set the tension in the room alight.

"I think we best leave it here for now.  Lexa will need to get ready for the afternoon session.  And we have some more paper work to discuss."

Titus stood and gestured to the door again.  She nodded and started to move towards the door awkwardly.  She could almost feel as Lexa's gaze, still hot, moved to her.

"May we meet again Clarke."

"Sorry?"

She looked back at the singer perplexed.  Her face was more composed now, almost sombre.  It reminded Clarke much more of the photos she had seen online.

Lexa glanced to Titus before raising one of her eyebrows, with a small smirk forming on her lips.

"Titus can be quite cut throat when it comes to work.  It would be nice if you survived so we could talk again."

Clarke wasn't sure if she was just throwing an insult at Titus, or making a genuine joke.  The woman was hard to read.  She decided it was better to take it as a joke and smiled at Lexa.

"Well then, may we meet again."

She really did mean it too.


	2. II

Clarke groaned as she rolled out of bed. She had another meeting at the studio today.

And while there was definitely an upside to this. One that included a brunette with electric eyes. The downside of these meetings was bald and getting more impatient and obstructive with each one that happened.

The best solution to making these meetings more productive would be to stop having them completely of course. They were of no benefit to anyone the way they ran. Clarke had pushed so hard to try and get them though. She had emailed Titus so many times before he at last gave in the idea. She was still surprised he ever had.

Titus had pushed back so hard against the idea when she first brought it up. It apparently wasn’t necessary for Clarke to carry out her task, and none of the others had required this kind of access.

Clarke wasn’t sure how he eventually changed his mind. She assumed it was Lexa and not Titus who had made the final call. Lexa was eager at each meeting to see progress that was made. Titus just acted difficult throughout.

Occasionally another woman joined them for the meetings. She was introduced as Anya, and was responsible for Lexa’s media presence and public relations. Clarke wasn’t sure how she had kept the job. The woman hardly looked up from her phone when she attended the meetings. Clarke had only heard her talk once or twice as she entered the room with Lexa, or the occasional time she greeted Clarke.

Then again, Lexa never had bad press. The woman must be good for something. Not to mention talking at the meetings rarely led to any progress. Maybe Anya had just long given up on trying to give ideas around Titus. He really did seem stuck in his ways.

A few designs were coming together. Not Clarke's best work. It wasn’t from lack of interest or trying though. She worked on them constantly. Different angles, different colours, different ideas poured out of her every time she sat down. At the end of each day however, she didn't feel like she was accomplishing anything that would lead somewhere.

She had tried to ask outright for opinions at the beginning. Lexa was always cut off by Titus though- in case she revealed too much about the album. Clarke had even started to explore work arounds to asking. Sometimes it had paid off, but mostly not.

The way Titus tried so hard to keep everything under wraps was driving Clarke crazy. At the beginning she tried to vent to her mother about it, but quickly gave up on that.

_"Clarke I don't know what you expected. You're lucky to have this job. Don't try to change a process you don't know anything about."_

Her friends weren’t much better. As she wasn’t allowed to talk details it mostly vague complaints about vague things. Most of the time this only made her sound petty. Soon they had started to ignore her. It was frustrating as she knew if she could talk details Raven would be hanging on her every word.

Saying Raven was a fan of Lexa was an understatement. She was die-hard fan. Clarke wanted to ask her about the concerts she’d gone to, to find out if the performances she had seen online compared in any way to the experience of being there. Wanted to tell her about her new found favourite songs, and the complexities she kept discovering in them. Raven wasn’t a fool though. The second Clarke would start bringing up Lexa in conversation, Raven would make the connection. She didn’t talk about music often and suddenly starting to gush over it wasn’t going to be subtle.

She wasn't the only one not able to talk openly though. Every meeting Lexa tried to give Clarke sincere feedback, only to be interrupted or spoken over. It bugged Clarke. It was only drawing out the process longer than necessary. The single benefit to come out of it was that she got to see Lexa on an almost weekly basis.

The woman was fascinating. Clarke actually read her Wikipedia page after the first meeting, her interest having been piqued. While the personal life section had been a bore for the most part, due to the high level of privacy the woman maintained. The life story that was pieced together showed a successful, professional woman who had high aims in her career and always strived to excel.

Clarke even followed up with a source or two for some of the more interesting facts, like how Lexa aimed to try out a new instrument every year. Some she would leave behind, others she added to the growing lists of instruments she could play.

But these facts didn't help her understand Lexa.

The few moments when Titus would have to step out of the room were the closest Clarke had come to doing that so far.

He was never gone long enough for Clarke to really ask questions beyond the work she was doing. And Lexa was always the one to jump to action, pointing to an aspect of a design she liked, or saying she wasn't sure about the colours. She'd never been able to elaborate however before Titus would stroll back in.

Once or twice Anya had even stopped looking at her phone to watch Lexa explain to Clarke details she liked in the designs.

She hoped they would get to have another one of those moments today. It was actually productive and Lexa's whole demeanour seemed to change when Titus stepped out. She would simultaneously relax and become more focused at the task at hand.

Clarke liked to watch this transformation. Lexa’s shoulders would drop as the stress that was Titus cleared the room. Her eyes would brighten up as if a storm was subsiding. It was something Clarke wished she could capture in the designs she created.

* * *

  
Clarke looked through the designs she had brought with her as she waited in the reception. They weren't her best work, but at least they were an improvement on what she had previously. With any luck Titus would be called away and she could get actual feedback on them. Slowly those few short moments were becoming the only source of actual feedback she was getting.

The designs were balancing on her knees as she ordered and reordered them by preference. Soon she was going to be in a room with Lexa. Lexa, who was going to see her art again and judge it, and then presumably Clarke too.

The picture it painted probably wasn’t the best. All the designs featured the artist. It looked a little obsessive Clarke thought. Not to mention all the requests she had made to meet her the past few weeks, probably gave a terrible impression of Clarke.

The thought made Clarke squirm. She felt like a creep now about the whole thing. She found Lexa attractive yes, but it wasn't like she was going to try anything. She was a celebrity and Clarke was just a normal person. She had no chance. Even outside of that Clarke was working for her. It was unprofessional, as nice as the thought might be. It was almost as nice as the little smirk she had seen Lexa do when she caught Titus out. Or the way her eyes would light up when Clarke would show her the designs.

"Clarke?"

She looked up and locked eyes with the woman, who happened to walk through the door at that moment. She blushed. Of course Lexa would know to show up at the exact moment Clarke was thinking about her.

Lexa smiled at her, raising an eyebrow as if questioning her. It didn't help the situation.

"Hi..."

"Are you coming?" Lexa gestured to the door that connected the reception to the rest of the building.

Clarke bit her lip at the choice of words.

"I'll follow you in. Just having a final look over some of the designs," she said vaguely pointing down to the sketches on her lap. Lexa tilted her head to the side to have a quick look at them, before smiling and nodding.

“I’ll see you inside then.”

As Lexa walked out of the reception, Clarke let out a groan. The woman must think Clarke was a complete fool.

* * *

 

She finally did follow Lexa in. Having waited for her watch to tell her it had been exactly 2 minutes since the woman left.

It’s not that she didn’t want to spend more time with Lexa, because really she wouldn’t mind that at all. It was that anytime she was alone with Lexa she didn’t know what to say, or how to act. Lexa seemed to look at her with an intensity- as if she knew what Clarke was thinking. It made her feel awkward sitting across from Lexa now even.

Not that Clarke had thought anything bad about the woman. Just that Lexa was attractive. She had thought it before, and she was going to think it again. Lexa had also shown herself to be intelligent with her comments and kind in her critiques. It was very hard not to feel some kind of infatuation for the woman. In any other situation she probably would have tested the waters to see if anything was possible between them.

She wondered did Lexa encounter this often with the people she worked with. Clarke imagined she did. She had seen the way Raven would gush about her, and she had never even been in the same room as the woman. Clarke was sure she must deal with it often, but it didn’t make it okay for her to act unprofessional around the artist. They were working together and it wouldn’t be fair.

Not that Lexa was making it easy for her today. Instead of her usually casually and baggy attire, what she was wearing was more form fitting. And as good as baggy clothes looked on her, the image of what had to be tailored clothes wrapping around her curves was hard to look away from. Clarke couldn’t concentrate on taking notes about the designs. She just wanted to start sketching the woman.

Lexa and Titus was looking through the designs, pointing out little things here and there. They were back in the lounge. The designs had been laid out on the coffee table.

Lexa reached across the table, and Clarke looked around the room to not let her eyes wander down to the cleavage Lexa must be showing.

The room hadn’t changed much since Clarke had started to come here. Occasionally a new instrument would appear in the corner or the seating would be moved around. Her second meeting the coffee table had been covered in papers. Clarke had found herself needing to move them to one side so she could lay out the designs. It was a lot of sheet music, the notes handwritten and messy writing annotating them all over.

The next time she arrived all the notes and paper were neatly stacked in the corner. And they had been for every meeting after.

Today a new guitar sat in the corner. It looked pretty old. There were scuff marks along the edges and a few stickers that were mostly rubbed away. It didn’t look like a guitar that would belong in a high tech studio. Clarke wondered as it Lexa’s own one.

"These ones seem to be the best," Titus chimed, pulling Clarke's attention back from studying the guitar. Titus was looking at her expectantly.

He had picked up two of the designs and placed them separate to the rest.

Lexa didn't seem to notice this though. She was still studying the other designs in front of her. Clarke leant in to take a better look at the ones Titus had picked out.

They were near the end of her list in terms of preference. In fact, the only reason they were still in the running at all was that Titus had insisted she changed a few things on them during the last meeting. They had been terrible ideas but she went ahead anyway. The last time she tried to explain why something wouldn’t work, Titus wasn’t pleased. And even the sympathetic smile Lexa gave her wasn’t enough to endure that again.

"There's still something missing with those designs," Lexa muttered.

Clarke’s eyes moved from the designs to Lexa. Watching her study the designs was strange. Clarke didn't even think her professors put as much effort in when grading her assignments. She took time looking at each design in turn. Her brow was creased slightly as she would lean in to look more closely a detail that Clarke had drawn.

Lexa looked up at her suddenly, as if expecting her to elaborate. Clarke was so focused on watching her, she didn't realise she had agreed out loud.

"Um... It's just I don't know if it's a match for the album. Not that I know anything about it. I guess I feel all the designs are missing something because of that," she rambled.

Lexa nodded. Titus didn't look impressed.

"What do you need to know? I want to ensure you have everything you need."

Lexa was looking at her intensely again. Clarke tried to remind herself to be professional, a business woman.

"Really if I could listen to the album, it would be a huge help."

All she really needed was a theme. She went with listening however. Start the bidding high to haggle down to what you really want, her dad would say.

"You can't expect we would just let you listen to it. It's not complete, and if it was we can't risk you leaking details."

Of course Titus would try to nip this in the bud. Clarke was well aware of this, and she was starting to get sick of his constant interruptions. She also knew Lexa would more than likely be on her side. It would make it easier when she lowered the bid if it was two against one.

"Well even anything about themes and imagery would do, in that case. I just want to link the design to the album more."

Titus looked fit to burst, and was about to open his mouth again when.

"Growth."

Clarke looked back to Lexa. Her eyes were trained in on Clarke. Her expression contrasting completely to Titus, staying composed and calm, while he stared daggers in her direction.

"That's the main theme for the album. It's about recognising-"

"That's enough."

Titus stood up as he raised his voice, as if he would gain more gravitas to his words with the action.

Lexa’s jaw jutted to the side. Clarke was growing accustomed to seeing this when the artist got irritated. Lexa sat back, to glare at Titus.

"One word is enough?"

"We won't risk another leak happening."

"That leak never happened. I made sure of it."

Clarke suddenly felt out of place. It was clear the conversation was starting to turn into something she probably shouldn't be witness to. She didn't feel like she could even move. She was sure it would set something off in the stare down happening in front of her.

"Lexa I-"

A knock on the door interrupted and Clarke let out a breath she didn't know she was holding. Anya popped her head into the room.

“Titus, there’s something you need to look at. It’s kind of urgent.”

Titus rolled his eyes and left the room, without bothering to say anything else. He brushed by Anya, who seemed more amused by his behaviour. She made a face at Lexa as she exited, closing the door. Anya was certainly brave to attempt it with the glare Lexa was aiming at Titus.

With the door now closed, separating the two. Lexa closed her eyes and took a deep breath, before opening them again. To say she looked calmer was an understatement. Picking up three very different designs to the ones Titus has pointed out earlier, she then moved around the table to sit on the couch next to Clarke.

Clarke stiffened at the sudden change.

"These ones feel like they link closest to the album."

Lexa seemed not to notice how tense Clarke was next to her and press on with meeting, now able to speak freely. She laid out the designs so both Clarke and herself could look at them. She started to point out individual features she liked, as well as what didn't fit.

Clarke shifted, trying to move out of the artist’s way as she opened her notebook. She was still close enough that her arm bumped into Lexa's as she started to take notes.

"Sorry."

She looked up wide eyed at Lexa, who looked back at her. She took in Clarke's face for a moment, before smirking.

"It's okay Clarke. It's only Titus in my firing line."

Clarke tried to compose herself better.

"Good to know I'm safe for now."

Lexa smiled at her and Clarke wished she could make her do it again. It was the same smile as the first meeting, genuine and soft. She smiled back. They stayed like that for a moment, admiring one another's smiles, before Lexa cleared her throat and looked back to the art.

"These designs are quite different to other work you’ve done. Not that it’s a bad thing. These are really nice too."

That surprised Clarke. Lexa had seen her other work. She thought about what pieces she had online. Mostly landscapes and some college work.

"You’ve looked at my work?"

Lexa nodded, pulling another design into the mix in front of them. She then pushed it aside, changing her mind on it.

"Yeah I like to know who I’m working with. Would you mind if I wrote some notes on these? I don't want to ruin your work."

Clarke offered Lexa her pen as an answer. She smiled as she took it off Clarke. Their hands brushed lightly. Lexa's hand was warm against hers.

She watched as Lexa started to circle and write notes on the designs.

"I liked your series on space."

"What?"

"Your series of painting about space?"

"Oh... You saw that...?"

"Yeah when I looked at your portfolio."

The space series wasn’t in her portfolio. It was the series that had made it to the final year show however. Unless Titus had gotten away with taking photos at the event, it meant that Lexa must have gone to check Clarke’s work out herself. Clarke bit her lip at the thought.

"What inspired it?" Lexa inquired.

"I always wondered what it would be like to live up there I guess. What it’s like to look out on infinity or whatever…" Clarke offered, trailing off as she thought she was starting to sound ridiculous.

"Yeah? I used to dream about things falling from the sky."

"Like Chicken Little?"

Lexa laughed.

"More like satellites."

The door opened and Titus re-entered. The mood in the room shifted then. Titus watched the two of them for a moment before speaking.

"Lexa they're looking for you at the recording studio. Ms Griffin I'm going to be tied up for the remainder of the afternoon. So I need to ask you to leave. I'm sure you have more than enough to continue working."

Clarke nodded as Lexa got up and walked back around the table. Clarke watched her walk away. Unlike the sweatpants of previous meetings, the jeans she wore hugged perfectly to her legs. It was hard to tear her eyes away to start to gather up her things.

"Clarke?"

She looked up at Lexa who was almost out the door and she hoped the woman hadn't noticed Clarke checking her out.

"I really think design four is worth revisiting as soon as you can."

She nodded and Lexa smiled at her, as she walked out, followed closely by Titus, whose eyes narrowed watching Lexa walk out.

"Hopefully I'll see you again," she called as she left.

"May we meet again you mean," Clarke joked after her.

The laugh from the hallway confirmed her jest was heard. It also confirmed that something better than making Lexa smile existed.

Gathering up her things, she looked around for design four. It was one of the designs Lexa had been annotating earlier.

Picking it up and looking at it, there were one or two circles around things with crosses over other parts. Written in small neat writing along the bottom of the design, as if not wanting to interfere with it, there was another note.

It carried a very different message to the others written close to it.

_"here tonight @ 11pm"_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you don't mind me ending there...
> 
> I'll try reply to comments on the first chapter soon enough. Also I'm taken aback with the traffic this fic has gotten so far... Thanks for reading it!
> 
> chooseredemption.tumblr.com if you want to drop me a line.


	3. III

It was strange being here after hours, Clarke thought as she waited by the main door of the studio.  It was colder now than earlier-  definitely a winters night, and Clarke tried folding her arms over her chest in the effort to stay that bit warmer.

She hoped Lexa would arrive soon.  At least she assumed she was meeting the artist outside.  Lexa hadn’t exactly given instructions.  She at least figured she should wait until it was actually eleven before trying the buzzer by the door.  The building didn't look like it was open at all though.  Her last time check told her she had plenty of time to wait yet.  She was tempted to check again but that would require moving and she was afraid of losing the small bit of heat she had already accumulated.

She hoped the studio was warm inside.  She couldn’t recall it being cold earlier.  Then again things had been pretty heated thanks to Lexa and Titus.

Clarke couldn’t help but wonder what Titus was talking about when he mentioned a previous leak.  She had tried to look it up later but found nothing.  Lexa was right in saying it didn’t happen.

It seemed to Clarke that Titus was being over the top about the whole thing.  Clarke wasn’t going to leak anything.  Her contract alone was proof of that.  She found the whole thing insulting.

And even if she wasn’t under contract she wouldn’t leak anything.  Lexa was working so hard on this album.  Clarke noticed the yawns she tried to conceal at meetings and the coffee she would have close to hand.  A leak wouldn’t be fair to the artist.  Clarke would be devastated if she saw her work appearing before completed.  She imagined Lexa would feel the same.

Clarke never wanted to see her like that.

“Clarke?”

She looks up to see Lexa approaching, bundled up in a hat and scarf.  Clarke was jealous of her layers.

“Are you cold?”

Clarke blinked.  Lexa was reading her mind for real this time.

“Oh no.  I’m fine, only just arrived.”

Lexa quirked her eyebrow up but said nothing.  Of course she could see through that.  Clarke wondered just how cold she must look, standing there trying to hold any heat in against her.

“Well let’s go inside anyway.  I won’t be able to stick it out here much longer, even if you can,” Lexa chuckled.

She turned then and walk the opposite way to the door.  Clarke glanced at the entrance before quickly following Lexa, a little bewildered as to why they weren’t entering the building.  It wasn’t until she followed Lexa around the corner that Clarke saw the other door.

 “I like this entrance better.  It’s easier than needing things to explain to the guard at the security desk,” Lexa explained as she unlocked the door, as if sensing Clarke was going to ask why they didn’t use the door they met at.

She gestured for Clarke to go ahead, opening the heavy door wide.  Clarke smiled at the kind gesture.

Clarke found herself in a corridor she had not been in before.  She turned around to Lexa, pointing vaguely to a random door by the entrance.  She raised her eyebrow to question if this was the way to go.

“That’s the bathroom.  We’re heading this way to the studio,” Lexa smiled as she stepped by Clarke to lead the way.

The corridor was narrow and Lexa brushed against her as she moved by.  Clarke cursed the heavy coats they both wore, preventing more contact, before remembering that she was there for work.  If it was just going to be her and Lexa, she was going to have to be on her best behaviour.

Following Lexa, Clarke found herself in the corridor she usually passed through.  Though it took a moment to realise, coming in from a different angle.

When they entered the recording studio, Lexa switched on the lights and headed straight to the console, fiddling with the various switches and buttons.  Clarke stood by the door.  She still wasn’t fully sure what was going on.  She wanted to ask Lexa but the woman seemed to be focused at the console and she didn’t want to interrupt her.

She took off her jacket.  Being inside was luckily warmer than she was even hoping.  Next, she took out with her notebook, fidgeting with it as she tried not to seem as out of place as she felt.

After a moment Lexa looked up from what she was doing with a smile. She shrugged off her own outer wear at last, now that she had finished at the console.

“So you want to hear the album?”

Clarke wasn’t sure how to respond.

“I guess I did say that…”

Lexa raised her eyebrow, looking at Clarke questioningly.

“I believe those were your exact words.”

“I was trying something out,” Clarke admitted. “I thought if I made a crazy demand then I could actually get some of my easier questions answered…”

Lexa laughed, picking up a remote form the console.

“Well you’re here now, so why don’t we indulge your ‘crazy’ demand.”

Clarke considered protesting as Lexa moved to the recording booth.  It wasn’t necessary.  A larger part of her didn't want to though.  Titus was likely to block her again in the future.  This might actually be a good opportunity to learn what she needed for the rest of the project.

Also, she was given an opportunity to basically hang out with Lexa and listen to music.  It seemed like a silly thing really but the thought excited Clarke.  This wasn’t something that casually happened and likely wasn’t going to happen again.  The woman who has been fascinating to her these past few weeks was suddenly available to just her.

She said nothing in the end and followed Lexa into the small recording space.  Lexa hung by the door while Clarke moved into the centre of the room

“So should I sit down or...?”  Clarke asked, pointing to some stools sitting in the corner of the room.

“Well if you want to be spotted by security then there’s no problem with a stool, but I usually sit on the floor,” Lexa answered.  Then seeing the face Clarke made added, “I promise it’s pretty comfy.”

“You’ve got this all down to an art don't you?”

“Well you have to learn some tricks when you get caught a couple of times.”

“Oh so you often bring girls here after hours?  No wonder Titus is obsessed with leaks.”

Clarke said it before she could stop herself, looking up wide eyed from the floor to watch Lexa’s reaction as the woman closed the door.

Lexa laughed.

“You might be right there, but I can’t say I sneak girls in here often.”

She bit her lip then, as if nervous about she had to say next.

“I’m going to turn off the lights by the way.”

“Oh…”  Clarke wasn’t sure how to respond.  She felt something in her stomach flutter.  She tried to make light of the comment.  “Are you sure you don't have a routine where you bring girls back here?”

Clarke wondered should she have said people instead of girls.  Lexa hadn’t correct her on it before though.  She mentally groaned as she realised she was starting to overthink everything.

“It’s so we don’t attract the attention of the guard,” Lexa elaborated, a slight hint of a blush on her cheeks.

Clarke tried not to think about it, or about her and Lexa alone in the dark, avoiding the guards.

“That does make sense.”  Clarke tried to keep her voice even.  “You really do have everything planned out don’t you?”

Lexa smiled.

“I like to be prepared I guess.”

“It would be pretty scandalous to be caught in here with someone,” Clarke found teasing looking up at Lexa, making her face look as innocent as she could.

Lexa threw her a look for it and Clarke wondered should she lay off on her 'teasing’.  It wasn’t like she was even aware of what she was saying until after she said it.  Clearly she was failing at being professional about this whole thing.

Lexa flicked off the lights and Clarke couldn’t help but shift uncomfortably with the change.  She was thankful for the darkness in some ways.  She was sure her face looked a bit flushed and the dark should be able to hide.  But now she was alone with Lexa in the dark and she wasn’t sure she trusted her mind not to wander.

There was still enough light from the glow of the emergency exit signs in the room to see around her, though it took a moment for Clarke’s eyes to adjust to it.

Lexa made her way over and sat next to Clarke.  The green glow only seemed to highlight her eyes.

“Ready Clarke?”

She nodded and Lexa smile, hitting a button on the small remote.

As the first few notes started to play, Lexa lay back on the floor.  She patted the space next to her, indicating Clarke should join her.

“It makes for a better listening experience.”

Clarke hesitated a moment, her eyes looking over Lexa.  She then followed and lay down next to her.

“Won’t the guard hear the music?” She asked.

She glanced over to see the profile of Lexa smiling.

“That’s the beauty of a soundproof room Clarke.”

Clarke didn’t respond, embarrassed at how obvious that should have been, and let the music fill the room.

Like each album Lexa has done before, there was a different sound to the music playing.  Echoes of her past work could still be heard, but they were entwined with the burst of new beats, melodies and sounds.

Clarke liked what she was hearing.  It made her more excited for her art to be tied to the album.

“What’s involve in writing songs?” Clarke found herself asking.  She couldn’t help but wonder if it was similar to the process of making art.

“Well that’s a loaded question.”

“Is it?”

“Well it can vary a lot between songs.  This song took some time to write.  There were ideas I wanted to fit into the lyrics but couldn’t get to flow.  Then trying to fit music around that was a pain.  Other songs just can write themselves.”

“Are there songs like that on this album?  Ones that wrote themselves?”

“Yeah there are.  The next one was…”

“What made it easier to write than say this one?”

“I guess it's a lot easier to write from personal experience.”

Lexa spoke softly, and then they lapsed back into silence.

Clarke realised she wasn’t taking any notes about what she was hearing.  The songs were rich in imagery and themes, but her notebook was still closed on the ground next to her.  She glanced to her side to study Lexa’s profile.  The lightening in the room hit her face just right to illuminate the half Clarke could see.  Her eyes followed the outline from her forehead to where her jaw met her neck.  The urge to sketch her features was strong.  She still didn’t reach for her notebook though.  She wanted to stay present in this moment.  She wanted to engage Lexa, not create a barrier through taking notes and sketching.

“You're still working on the album, right?  Like it's not completely finished music wise?”

“Yeah there are some rough demos that need to be recorded properly.”

Lexa shifted as the next song started up, the one she said came easy to her when writing.  Clarke got a chill as it started.  It was still a rough cut, unlike the previous song which had far more work done on it.  The notes seemed far more precise in this though, Clarke wondered would it even need polishing off.

Lexa’s vocals were soft, but it was the lyrics spoke volumes.  They told of a broken relationship, one maybe salvageable, but without the other person willing to try.

Clarke bit her lip as the song continued.  Lexa mentioned it came from personal experience.  It was the song she said flowed easily.  It must be about an ex.  Clarke wondered if she could ask.  She didn’t actually know all that much about Lexa's personal life.  From her research, it looked like the artist did her best to keep it private.  That and her apparent discomfort at the song was enough stopped Clarke asking.

She let the song finish in silence instead.

The next song to start contrasts a lot.  It was more upbeat and light-hearted. Clarke knew it was going to end up on Raven’s party playlist.  Clarke could see herself already being dragged up to go and dance to it.

“My friend is going to love this song.  She’s actually a big fan of yours,” Clarke admitted.

Lexa looks over to her and raises an eyebrow.

“Does she know you’re working with me?”

“Well I did sign this non-disclosure agreement.  Kind of seemed like a big deal at the time.”

Lexa rolled her eyes.

“Titus is too much sometimes.”

Clarke did try not to laugh at the comment, but failed.  Lexa looked at her questioningly.

“Earlier at the meeting I genuinely thought you were going to kill each other.”

Lexa looked up at the ceiling.

“Our relationship is a little strained at the moment.”

“Cause of that ‘leak’ he mentioned earlier?”

Lexa's jaw tightened as Clarke asked.  She wondered if she was being too forward.

“There wasn't a leak.  It never got that far. It's just… complicated.  A lot has changed since I first signed on to be managed by him.”

“Like what?”

Lexa sighed.  “I want more involvement in the various aspects of the album.”  She glanced at Clarke.  “Like the artwork.  I'm not sure he's used to having to deal with so many of my opinions.”

Clarke couldn’t help but think of her relationship with her mother as Lexa continued to speak about her relationship with Titus.  In a lot of ways, it was very like that of a parent and child.

Every conversation they had seemed to lead to some form of disagreement.  Clarke knew that only too well.  Even small casual things she would mention would be commented on by her mother.  It was as if Clarke should have known better, or done something completely different.  Clarke knew she was right when they had these conversations, but her mother just wasn’t able to realise that.  She had to learn Clarke wasn’t a child anymore.  She may not be an expert at adult life, but she was capable enough to deal with whatever came her way.

“Growing up is the worst,” Clarke said, rolling her eyes at Lexa trying to push her own thoughts from her own head.

Lexa threw her a glare in return, but there was a light in her eyes that indicated she found Clarke's comment amusing.

“Have there been a lot of disagreements about this album?”  Clarke asked more sincerely.

Lexa rolled her eyes dramatically.

“So many…  I actually didn't want this song on the album, but Titus insisted it had to be there.”

“And you backed down?  Doesn’t sound like you.”

“What would you have expected from me?”  Lexa looked over to her, meeting her gaze.

Clarke wasn’t expecting to be questioned.  She couldn’t say she knew an answer.  She only knew that in her case she’d stick to her guns about it.  It was how she convinced her mother to let her go to art college.  She had been so against the idea- worried Clarke would become one of the many struggling artists.

Then again Clarke had compromised with her mother.  She took Graphic Design instead of Fine Art.  From her mother’s perspective, she would at least have a better chance of a concrete job.  From hers she still got to go to art school.

“I guess there must have been a really good reason to leave the song on the album, otherwise it wouldn’t be there.”

Lexa smiled.

“That would be Anya.  She said I should leave it on as it makes me more relatable.  It's also apparently way easier to market as a single than some of the other songs.”

“And here was me thinking she just like to sit around and play on her phone.”

Lexa laughed.

“That’s not inaccurate.  She does have a lot of valuable input when she looks up from it.  She given me a lot of very good advice since she started working with me.”

Lexa talked a bit more about Anya.  Clarke shifted onto her side and watched her talk.  She found it so strange to hear Lexa describe such a different person to what Clarke had been assuming.  Lexa was fond of her.  It sounded like they were close.  Probably even friends.  She wondered did Lexa have many friends.  Listening to her talk, it seemed like she might not.

Clarke wasn’t sure Lexa was lonely though.  She seemed like someone who didn’t need to rely on anyone.  Clarke thought about how she called her mother anytime she had to make a decision.  She was jealous of how Lexa seemed to be able to it without hesitation.  She might butt heads with Titus over them, but the decisions she made were her own.

The tracks continued to play in the background.  Eventually they drifted back into silence.  Clarke continued to watch Lexa.  She was sure the woman had noticed her gaze at this point.  Clarke wasn’t even attempting subtlety anymore in watching her.  Lexa didn’t show any signs of discomfort from Clarke’s gaze though.

She did try to pay attention to the music more than Lexa, but it was difficult.  She started to force herself to ask questions about the songs playing.  What Lexa had envisioned when she wrote it, what feelings she was trying to invoke.

Lexa answered best she could.  Clarke got the impression she wasn’t used to being asked such in depth questions about her music.

Lexa pointed out when the final track started to play.  At this stage, Clarke was starting to build an image in her head.  It seemed so obvious to her now.  she almost wanted to laugh that she didn't think of it sooner.  Her previous designs were so far off from the music she was listening to in this moment.

The song ended and Lexa looked over at Clarke.  Her eyes lit up with the emergency lighting, making them a surreal shade of green.

“Do you need to listen some more Clarke?”

Clarke debated whether or not she should say yes.  The image forming in her head told her she didn’t, but she was reluctant leave Lexa’s company.  She could see the dark circles under the woman’s eyes though.  It might have been the lighting, but Clarke knew Lexa was working hard and she would only be causing her more work if she stayed.

“I think I have everything I need right now.”

She held Lexa’s gaze as she said it.  The woman's eyes widened a fraction, before she looked away with a blush spreading across her cheeks.  It sparked something in Clarke.  She wondered should she make a bolder move, maybe reach out and touch the woman’s hand.  That would be unprofessional of her though.  Clarke wasn’t sure she cared anymore.

She missed her chance when Lexa moved to get up.

She slowly sat up as Lexa got to her feet.  She was about to stand herself when she noticed Lexa standing in front of her, hand outstretched to help Clarke up.

Clarke smiled as she accepted the offer.  Lexa’s hand was warm.  It held on tighter as Clarke stood, offering extra support, but loosened again after.  She didn’t pull her hand away though.  It lingered for a moment.  Clarke looked up to see Lexa studying their joint hands.  Lexa's hand didn't feel unlike Clarke's own.  They both were artists and there was a toughness to their skin.  It was pleasant to touch though.

“Thanks.”

She spoke softly, hoping it wouldn’t break the mood that had enveloped them.  Lexa’s hand left hers as the woman moved back, being pulled out of whatever she was thinking when Clarke spoke.

Lexa only nodded in response.

They didn’t speak as Clarke gathered her thing and they left the studio.  Clarke wondered what Lexa was thinking, but her face was unreadable.

“Aren’t you going home?” Clarke asked as she stepped out into the alley, only to find Lexa didn’t follow her.  Only then did she noticed Lexa wasn't wearing her coat.

Lexa looked hesitant before answering, folding her arms against the cold breeze.

“I think I’m going to stay a bit longer and work on a few things.”

Clarke nodded.

“Well I guess be careful not to get caught by security.”

Lexa smiled.

“I can handle them.”

“I’ve no doubt you can.”

Clarke could have sworn she saw the woman’s cheeks turn a light pink.  She couldn’t tell if it was from the cold, or if she made her blush

“Goodnight Clarke.”

“Goodnight Lexa.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well this was delayed a bit more than I was expecting. Hopefully the next update will not have the same issues...
> 
> chooseredemption.tumblr.com

**Author's Note:**

> You can follow me at chooseredemption.tumblr.com
> 
> I might start live blogging my writing process on there. Or at the very least there is a bunch of Clexa memes.


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